MD
by Moon's-Wing
Summary: "Low blood pressure, barely enough vitamins in your system to stay functioning, and you down Excedrin like a kid with gum drops! You that anxious to be a shinigami again?"     "I knew this would be troublesome."   IchiRukiHitsu


A/N: AU. I think Ichigo proved in the first few chappies that he'll likely not follow in his father's footsteps, but this damn bunny would not leave me be. I bet Rukia sent it.

**IRH**

**IRH**

"What the hell did you do to piss off the army?" Rukia roared, entering Ichigo's office.

"I didn't do anything!" he shot back.

"Then what the fuck is this?" she asked, throwing a large manilla envelope in front of him.

"Hell if I know," he muttered, opening it. "Patient file."

Ichigo nearly spat out his coffee when he read the name attached to it. Both he and Rukia had hoped beyond all hope that he would see this particular person again, but now that it was happening...

**IRH**

**IRH**

"Captain Toushiro Hitsugaya," the male reported in to the nurse without batting an eye.

"Oh yes, Captain," the nurse replied sweetly. "Just one moment, and I'll show you in." He gave a polite nod and took a seat. She rose from hers and left the busy receptionist's office for another's.

"Oh, Doctor!" she sang with a smile in the doorway.

Ichigo looked up from his work, a grin forming on his face. "He's here?"

"Yes, yes he is," Nurse Kuchiki replied.

"How's he look?"

"Delicious. Especially in those fatigues. And not at all impressed he has to be here. Until he saw me, that is," she grinned.

The male scoffed. "Get his vitals. I'll be there in a minute."

"So in doctor's time, that roughly translates to about 45 minutes, right?"

"Shuddup and go."

_The war in Hueco Mundo had taken an awful turn. The three of them, along with many others, had paid the ultimate price for peace in both Soul Society and the mortal world. Ichigo hadn't yet been back to the world of the dead, but did know thier efforts had not been in vain; that was enough for him. If he could, he was saving playing rabid shinigami for when he actually was dead this time._

_Rukia, on the other hand, had been to the other realm many times, and according to her, 'Hitsugaya-taichou' had yet to make an apperance. So either he lived in blissful ignorance, or had made the same decision Ichigo had._

Toushiro yawned while Rukia took his blood pressure. "Never thought of you as the type to be a nurse," he told her.

"You know me?" she asked.

"You don't know me?"

"No, I recognised you as soon as I saw you, Hitsugaya-kun."

"Captain Hitsugaya," he corrected.

"Yes, yes, of course, Captain," she replied sarcastically. "Your BP's awfully low."

"You want it up? Let Kurosaki in."

"He will be shortly, actually."

"He better be. I'll kill him if he makes me wait."

"I don't doubt that," she replied with a smile, then left to retrieve the doctor.

"Fucking hell, Toushiro!" Ichigo yelled upon his entry; teal eyes rolled, but noted Ichigo had glasses now. When had that happeneded? "Low blood pressure, barely enough vitamins in your system to stay functioning, and you down Excedrin like a kid with gum drops! You that anxious to be a shinigami again?"

"I knew this would be troublesome."

"I'm just getting started. We haven't touched 'troublesome.' "

The white haired male sighed. "No, no, Captain Hitsugaya, trust me, he's the best at diagnoisis, it's no problem," he sighed, reciting what his commanding officer had told him. "Says the guy who's never slept with him."

"Technically, neither have you. Avoid the question all you want. It's my master's degree-given right to keep you here as long as I see fit."

"You're so annoying. And on an even higher techicality, I have."

"I'm aware."

"I do desire to be a shinigami again, but I am not doing this purposefully."

"The Excedrin ain't jumping down your throat."

"All right, that I'm doing purposefully."

Ichigo sighed, his hazel eyes flicking back down to the chart. "This is a recent development?"

"About five months ago. Been more severe as of late, or so I was told."

"Looks like you were told at the ER," the other said incrediously, looking further down the other male's records, the oval frames sliding down his nose a bit.

Toushiro bit his lip. Those things looked really good on him. "Didn't you look at that before you came in here?"

"I have other patients, and I just got this this morning, my liege."

Toushiro rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Idiots."

"Me or them?"

"Both."

"Imma send Rukia back in, and you will do everything she tells you to do."

"Making the nurses do all the work; typical doctor."

The taller flipped him off on his way out the door.

**IRH**

**IRH**

Hitsugaya watched the careful precision the woman used to draw his blood.

"Not many can watch me do this," she told him, amused.

"This is nothing." He paused before continuing. "I never saw either of you entering the medical profession."

"I don't know what triggered Ichigo, but the mortal world's military is so... arcaic. It was reading his books over his shoulder- that got my interest."

"When did you meet again?"

"College. Well, he was in college, I was working part time. Ichigo..." she flushed darkly. "...found me at work."

"Do I want to know where?"

"Probably not, but the night he saw me again is a pretty funny story. But you can never tell Nii-sama."

"Because we speak so often."

"Har, har. I was working... at-a-strip-club," she blurted out quickly to her companion's snickers. "Some classmates of Ichigo's were apparently of the opinion he didn't get out enough, and dragged him to said strip club."

"Bet he was impressed to see you."

"Oh, very," she drawled. "So impressed that he walked right up to the stage, threw his jacket over me, and carried me back to his apartment, where, after I was speaking to him again, I lost my virginity. Again."

"Just... you?"

"Oh, he was probably too busy worrying about you to mention it." She smiled. "He met this girl in highschool, senior year, apparently reminded him very much of moi."

"...He slept with her."

"And she had a baby boy."

"You're joking," he deadpanned.

"I am not. I've met him. An eight year old sweetheart."

"So he takes after her?"

Rukia laughed.

"Good God. Kurosaki... a father?"

"It does seem out of place... until you see him with the kid. I think it's his weekend with him, actually, if you want to come over."

"Do you two live together?"

"It's a nice place. Three bedroom, though obviously not all used for that. And I couldn't very well afford my apartment without a job."

"...Makes sense."

"That idiot. He doesn't complain when I...er..."

"Give a 'private performance?'

She blushed. "...Yeah."

"Where do I sign up for that?"

"God, you're both perverts."

"Don't lump me with him."

She giggled. "What have you been up to since I last saw you?"

"Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Eat. Work. Work. Sleep-"

"Still a workahoilic."

"I hate to break this to you, but if I don't go when they call me, they come looking for me. And just so you know, if that happens, it's bad."

"I'm sure. But aren't you allowed any time to yourself?"

"Occasionally," he replied through gritted teeth.

"Well, this bloodwork's gonna be a bit; hope you brought a book."

"I have to stay?"

"Your commanding officer wants to know what's going on with you ASAP; that means you're here til Ichigo figures it out or we close, in which case you're back tommorrow morning." '

"...I hate the military."

"Told ya it was bad."

"... That you did. You have other things to do, I suppose?"

She grinned shyly. "Only one, at the moment," she replied, locking the door.

"And what is that?"

"You."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yes."

"Well, Kurosaki did tell me to do everything you told me to."

"In that case, the rest of that uniform has to go," she told him, locking the door.

"Yours first."

A coy grin in place, Rukia slowly pulled the scrub top over her head, letting it fall to the floor. Toushiro inhaled sharply at the sight the black barassire against the woman's pale skin. Again, slowly, and with purpose, kicked off her shoes and pulled down her pants. Those panties barely covered what was needed; he could feel his heart rate increase. "Your move, Toushiro."

Not daring to tear his eyes from hers, he pulled off the tshirt he wore underneath the fatigue jacket. He had to look away to untie his boots, and for far too long, in his opinion. Gradually, he slid off the examination table, unbuckling his belt.

"You wear too many clothes," Rukia purred, still against the door.

"At the moment, I'm inclined to agree," he said, finally finding his way out of those accursed pants.

"Now get back up on that table."

Doing so, he grinned, "Ordering me around, are you?"

She strutted up to him, licking her lips. "You love it." He could feel himself growing harder even before their lips touched; yes, yes he did.

They delved into one another's mouths, hungry for each other's taste. "Oh, fuck yes," she moaned.

"Been awhile?" he asked cheekily.

Rukia nodded. "About a month and a half- one of use is always busy, it seems like. What about you?"

"Techinically, I don't know what I'm missing."

"Oh, we need to fix that."

"Indeed," he agreed. Their mouths met again, this time Rukia urging him to his back as they did. He reached inside her underwear, only minimally surprised to find his fingers already slind into her easily. "Fuck," he cussed.

"Allow me," she said, pulling her underwear aside, and within seconds, both were trying to keep their voices down.

(Unbeknowest to them, there was in fact an orange haired evesdropper on the other side of the door, silently cursing as his pager went off.)

"Ahhhh, Toushiro..." Rukia moaned as loudly as she dared.

"Rukia... dammit..."

"It's ok, I'm almost... A-Ah!"

"Ruk- Where-?"

"You can come inside me," she muttered and he wasted no more time doing so. Neither said anything for a few moments. "I'm on birth control," she explained once she had caught her breath. "Have to be."

"It goes back to Ichigo, doesn't it?"

"Yep. Since we're so busy, sex is impromtu a lot and neither of us has learned to carry a condom on us. And if we can't make time for sex, we figure we have no business making babies."

He chuckled.

**IRH**

**IRH**

Toushiro did end up staying the whole day. Sadly, he did not bring anything to read, but Rukia stopped in when she could to say hi and alleviate some boredom. Ichigo even flew in an out once to hit the shorter over the head when his clipboard when he saw him popping a couple pain killers.

Once it was time to go home, he hitched a ride with the two to their apartment rather than the hotel. In fact, he had gone so far as to cancel the room in favor of 'the friends he hadn't seen in years.'

It was all of two seconds after entering the apartment that clothes were off and all three were tangled together in the bedroom; Toushiro in the middle of all affections- he'd been sorely missed. Rukia in front of him and Ichigo in back, he began to wonder himself why he'd waited so long to find them.

Oh, yeah. It was going to suck when he had to leave. But that wouldn't be for awhile.

No one was saying a word; the room filled with only the sound of heavy breathing until one... by one... by one... all three reached their limit for the night and curled up, encompased by one another's warmth.

Late that night, Toushiro managed to pull himself out from under Rukia without waking her, walking into the living room where a soft light was seeping from. He found his other bedmate, quite awake, sitting on the couch with several large books; all open- one of which was inches from his nose.

"Keep that up, you'll need a stronger perscription," he informed the taller.

"Shut it." Ichigo didn't even look up.

"Why are you awake so friggin late?"

"You shouldn't ask questions you already know the answers to; people might think you're a little dim in the head."

"...You're one to talk." He grumbled, taking a seat beside the other male. "I'm not going anywhere any time soon; you can get some sleep."

Ichigo didn't answer.

"You have to be up in the morning, don't you?"

Nothing.

"I don't appreciate being ignored, you know."

"...That's gotta be it," the other said, but it was to himself.

Toushiro reached over, slapping his hand over the book in the orange haired male's view. Ichigo frowned, looking at his lover now. "It's gotta be what?" the shorter asked.

"You are not gonna like this."

"Stop beating around the bush."

"Tapeworm."

A look of disgust crossed the other's face.

"That can't be it," a female voice yawned, entering as well and leaning against the back of the sofa. The two talking had woken her. "He doesn't have any abdominal pain."

"That's what I thought at first," Ichigo agreed. "But he's also been popping pain killers like candy."

"Can we not talk about me like I'm not in the room?"

"Sorry. You've been popping pain killers like candy."

"Thank you."

"But," Rukia cut in. "Enough that it's completely covering up the pain of a friggin tapeworm? How many you taking, 'Shiro?"

"...I'd rather not say."

"That's what I just realized," the hazel eyed male said. "Toushiro, being Toushiro, wouldn't just take a couple to get by; you're completely loading yourself up, I'll bet. Good God, we're totally dating an addict over here."

"Hey! This is just a theory, right?" the shorter male snarled.

"Only until I open ya up and take look."

The disgust on the teal eyed male's face was ten time what it had been before. "They trust you with a scalpel?"

"Believe it or not."

"I suppose you do have experience with a massively oversized one."

"...Asshole."

**IRH**

**IRH**

"Ichigo, are you sure about this? We could get one of the other-"

"Pass," the male said, the nurse finishing suiting him up for surgery. "I'm not lettin' them any closer to him than I would them to you. And it's a routine surgery; I'm pretty good at those."

She shook her head, finally putting a mask over the grin. "Good luck."

"Not coming?"

"I'm not a surgical nurse, I can't, you know that. But I'll be watching."

"Oh, yes, the big giant window. I hate that thing."

"Everyone does. Get your ass in there and fix our boyfriend."

"Nag, nag, nag," the male muttered, going through the doors.

Reality hit him hard when he saw Toushiro. Sure, the guy was adorable when asleep, but this was more than obviously not the case. He'd been hearing stories form the other nurses just what a joy the captain was as a patient; he'd said he was happy he wasn't getting him until he was unconcious. And there he lay.

One of the other nursed eyes him. "Dr. Kurosaki?"

"What'd you have to do to get that IV in him?"

"Heavy sedation."

"How'd you get the sedation in him?"

"Kuchiki-san caught his attention just long enough for us to get the needle in him." The nurse knew the two were close, though no idea how close.

Ichigo laughed. "Ok, let's get this guy outta our hair, shall we? Or, your guy's hair, anyway."

"Will all due respect, much appreciated, Dr. Kurosaki."

"No worries, I know he's a pain in the ass."

**IRH**

**IRH**

Violet eyes watched the procedure in aprehension. Ichigo didn't say much, he never did when something required his full attention, but relief washed over the woman hearing his cheeky tone, "I love it when I'm right."

She rolled her eyes, but with a smile. "Like your ego needs any help."

**IRH**

**IRH**

Teal eyes blinked against the harsh florescent lighting that greeted them. Not even seconds passed before a pair of relieved violet eyes were in his view as well.

"Heya," Rukia smiled softly. "How are you feeling?"

White brows furrowed.

"Too early to tell?"

Single nod.

She chuckled.

"Not in your uniform," he mumbled.

"Wow, barely concious and already on to that much. My work day just ended. I told Ichigo I'd keep an eye on you; he's still on shift." She drastically lowered her voice. "He doesn't trust the nurse that got assigned to you."

"Where is she?"

"They're all afraid of you."

"Good."

The woman shook her head. "I'll get you some ginger ale; it'll help. I'm sure you feel like crap."

"Don't forget the morphine."

"Nice try, you're not getting any of that. If you do have some pain, though, I can get some pretty good stuff injected into your IV."

He gave a nod.

"Then I shall return shortly." While she was at the nurse's station, Toushiro heard her voice over the intercom paging Ichigo.

"What the hell did you do that for?" he growled, startling the nurse she'd brought with her.

"Shush," she said, putting the ginger ale and a few crackers on the table next to him. "He'll want to see you too. I know for a fact it'll only be a moment, if it makes you feel any better."

"Only mildly."

"He's on the third floor; it'll take him a bit to get- How the hell did you do that?" she cried, seeing the male at the bed already.

"I'm just that good," the newcomer smirked. (He'd actually been curious about Toushiro's status and found some time to come down for a bit, Rukia's page had been right before he's come into the area.)

"I'll take that bet," Toushiro said.

"You do bounce back quick, don't you?" Ichigo asked.

"When not pissed off all the time, yes."

"Ouch. Don't even wanna know what happened?"

"The fact you're asking leads me to believe you were correct in your theory."

"Yeah. I was."

"Then that's the end of it; piss off."

"Oh, my pride," Ichigo laughed, then left.

"It'll be a few days at least before you start feeling like yourself again. It's best that we admit you."

"No."

"Toushiro..."

"I won't go to work," he told her as the nurse hurriedly left. "But don't make me stay here. Please," he added.

She sighed. "For the rest of the day, at the very least, that's only a few hours and I'll be here the whole time. I'll see if I can get my next couple shifts reversed around to spend the next day or two at home. On one condition."

"Always something."

"Get some rest."

"...Fine." He allowed his eyes to close while she briefly left to try to jostle her schedule around.

**IRH**

**IRH**

"How's the little demonspawn doing?"

"Shh," Rukia asked when Ichigo entered the apartment. "I just got him to go back to sleep. Poor thing; he's so miserable. Do you want to check on him?"

"Did he seem ok when he went to sleep?"

"Bitching the entire time, but his stitches look like they'll heal nicely."

"Good. I'll wait to be a pain in the ass, then. I'd love a shower, though."

"Go for it."

"Aw, no company?"

"I'm a bit worn out, actually. Worrying does that to me."

"I know that- I was mostly joking."

"Mostly. Right. I'm just gonna finish this chapter, then go to bed myself."

"Ok, see you in the morning, then."

So she said, but when Ichigo got out if his shower, he found the woman had fallen asleep on the couch- book still in hand, laid over her chest. With a soft smile, he put the pages aside, lifting her up and carrying her to the bedroom where Toushiro still slept. Thankfully, the shorter male was mostly to the right, so there was plently of room for the petite woman.

No so much for him, both of then spread out like that. With a conceeding sigh, he took a pillow and spare blanket and went back out to the couch. After setting his cell alarm (since the alarm clock would wake the other two as well, and apparently Rukia had just conned some time off) he got as comfortable as possible, and was soon enjoying some much-needed shut eye as well.

**IRH**

**IRH**

Rukia vaguely heard the male's alarm go off the next morning, on instinct, she rose too, then saw Toushiro next to her, beginning to wake as well. "No, no," she told him. "Go back to sleep."

"...Gotta piss," the other grumbled.

"All right, get up, but do it slowly; I'll make sure Ichigo's not in there- he's getting ready for work."

"...Yeah," he replied, hoisting himself up on his elbows. After a couple moments, he was up on his hands. Cautiously, he let on foot fall toward the ground. "Ugh, so stiff...," he muttered, putting the other one down as well.

"Hey! I said nothing about getting off the bed!" Rukia scolded him upon his return.

"Exactly," was the dismissive reply.

"Let me help you," she asked, trying to brace him as he stepped forward.

"I can walk," he shot to her.

She sighed, discontinued hovering, but did step beside his slow pace. Rounding past the living room, a half naked Ichigo had a toothbrush in his mouth while haphazardly running a hair brush through the mop on his head. "Ichigo!"

"Ah'm movhin'!" he told her, getting out of the way. "Ahm ahalso waite!" he added, pulling on a nearby button-down shirt.

"Ugh, you're impossible," Rukia told him, pulling the tie that had been under the collar around his neck and tying for him, allowing Toushiro some privacy. "I know you didn't forget to set the alarm- I heard it go off."

"Sthorrwee. Fucthin thnooze."

"Oh, now I understand," she realized, and the taller male ran out to the kitchen to spit. The woman took the thing off his hands so he could pull a shirt and jacket on.

"Um, do you mind...?"

"I'll rinse it off you for you, go."

"Thanks," he said, giving her a kiss before leaving. A few minutes later, Toushiro emerged.

"He's gone?"

"Yes," she confirmed.

"Why do you have his toothbrush?"

"To rise it out cuz he ran out of time."

"...Moron."

"Indeed, but he's our moron," she replied, speedily doing the task so he could help her other boyfriend (be it willingly or not) back into bed.

**IRH**

**IRH**

Ichigo slumped against the apartment door when he entered for the night, glasses he'd long forgotten to take off drooping off his nose.

"Long day?" Rukia asked, emerging from the bedroom.

"Sorta. How's the other one?"

"Drinking tea and going through paperwork."

"I thought-"

"Loophole; he promised not to go to work- work came to him."

"Did he ask it to?"

"I'm still figuring that one out."

Hazel eyes rolled, and the male went into the bedroom where the other was, in fact, still in bed but had a nice stack of white sitting beside him. Ichigo cleared his throat.

"And you want...?" TOushiro asked, not breaking his current gaze.

"To check your stitches."

"They're fine."

"Five minutes. Tops. And I will incinerate that crap."

With a roll of his own teal orbs, the papers on his lap went to rejoin the others.

"Lay down." The shorter did. "When was the last time you changed the bandages?" he asked the woman, standing in the doorway.

"Couple hours ago."

Ichigo pulled the covers aside, Toushiro had gained boxers and a tshirt, the latter of which he pulled up, then, as gently as possible, pulled the white gauze aside. "Looks ok; barely even red."

"We're done, then?"

"With that. Is tea the only thing in your system?"

"Yes."

"Try some soup or something tomorrow. And I'm confiscating this," he added, taking the pile out of the room.

"Hey!" Toushiro yelled, still too sore to move with any efficency. "You don't have the right to take those!"

"We've been over this, Shiro-chan; if it concerns your health, it's my master's degree-given right. Rest tonight; I'll give it back tomorrow."

"Asshole!" the other spat.

"Honestly, Ichigo, at least he stays put when he has it," Rukia said.

"You're advocating this behavior?"

"Not advocating, but unless you want him bitching and not getting rest in any form, you should really give that back."

The taller male looked between the woman's logical face and the shorter's fuming one. He seemed to consider her words, but still walked out of the room with the work.

"ASSHOLE!" Toushiro shouted, then buckled over in pain.

"See?" Ichigo told him. "Let that be a lesson to you."

"Bastard... You're dead once I'm done healing."

"But until then, I have work of my own. Get some sleep!"

Toushiro continued to fume, but there was little he could do in his current state; eventually, though, he did calm down and nod off.

**IRH**

**IRH**

"Hey! we're back!" Ichigo called out.

"Shit!" Rukia cussed, gathering her clothes at the speed of light.

"Rukiaaa!" a boy's voice called out.

Toushiro snickered at the woman.

"This is not funny!" she hissed at him. "You just have to pull the blankets over yourself! If that kid sees me naked, Ichigo, then his ex, will slaughter me!"

"Rukia? I have a present..." His footsteps were getting closer. Victorious, Rukia pulled her shirt on just as Kenichi opened the door.

The eight year old gaped at the white haired male. "Who's he?"

"That's our friend Toushiro; he just had surgery and needed a place to stay while he recovered."

"Oh. Rukia!" he prattled on, giving a piece of paper to the woman. "I drew this for you."

"Kenichi, it's beautiful," she told him lovingly, though was not entirely sure what she was looking at.

"Really? Thank you!" he said brightly.

"So the kid comes to visit Daddy with a present for not Daddy, but Daddy's girlfriend," Toushiro noted. "_That's_ what's beautiful."

"Come on, Kenichi," Rukia said to the boy, grinning as Ichigo entered. "Let's find a good spot on the fridge for this." Taking him by the hand, the two exited the room.

"What are you snickering at?" Ichigo asked Toushiro in a surly tone.

"You know your son has a crush on our girlfriend, right?" the other asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah... Sadly, he doesn't have his father's finess."

Toushiro snorted out his tea.

"What?"

"Finess? If he ever gets any of that, it won't be from you."

"...Asshole. Which reminds me, watch the swearing while he's here. His mother will kick my ass if he goes back to her with that vocabulary."

"Give me a little credit, Kurosaki."

"You had anything to eat today?"

"Techically."

"Broth does not count at this point."

"Details."

"I'm bringing real soup, and you're eating it."

"Whatever."

"Daddy! Daddy!" Kenichi bombarded him as soon as he left the bedroom. "Rukia said we can go to the movies if you say it's ok! Can we? Can we?"

"Yeah, sure. Wait, which movie?" he reiterated, leaving the room with the child.

Toushiro scoffed. If that kid really was anything like Ichigo, asking was far from out of place. Little Kenichi was probably trying to convince Rukia what a big boy he was via movie ratings. Hey.. if the two of them were out of the house... it had been almost two weeks since his surgery, and was feeling much better, not that that idiot would let him out the house yet. He was really milking the doctor's orders thing. Nevermind that he'd totally conned Rukia into beliving he was up for it, which he was, but the kid had interupted them before it got beyond getting naked.

"This one," the boy was saying now, pointing at the newspaper he was holding.

"Nice try. We're getting my glasses before you pull that one," he said, and the two were gone from Toushiro's view.

Guess the kid really did try to be sneaky. Sadly, it would probably never work, as Ichigo knew every trick in the book. A couple minutes later a happy "Yay!" sounded through the three bedroom apartment. 'Guess he wasn't trying to pull a fast one. Or he stopped trying when Ichigo got his glasses.' Those things did look damn good on him, but the white haired made a note never to tell the other; his ego was inflated enough.

So the kid was going. Unfortunately, so was Rukia, so Toushiro figured he was going to have to force Ichigo to see he didn't have to be handled like glass. Grinning smugly down at his paperwork, waited for them to depart.

-Four hours later-

"... and if Rukia takes anything from strangers, you find a policeman," the orange haired male was finishing as his son as he and the woman were leaving.

"Will you stop acting like I'm the eight year old?" the woman snapped.

"Who hitched a ride with a total stranger with my son?"

"The car broke down and my cell was dead! What did you want me to do?"

Toushiro, in the bedroom, barely covered his laughter.

"You could've just borrowed his phone! Didya have to get in the car?"

"Stop watching the news and get a grip," she shot back, and taking Kenichi's hand, left.

"Laying it on her a little thick, don't you think?" Toushiro asked from the bedroom.

"No!" Ichigo retorted, storming into the room (he still had his glasses on). "I don't. If anything happened to Kenichi-"

"You know Rukia can defend herself just fine."

"But while protecting him? It's really hard-"

"To protect someone else while protecting yourself. No shit, Kurosaki. Rukia knows that too. She wouldn't put herself in that sort of unnessescary situation. Get your ass over here."

"Why?" the other asked warily.

"Just do it," the shorter said with a roll of his eyes.

Still cautious, Ichigo walked over to where the other sat on the bed, taking a spot beside him. "Now what?" he foolishly asked.

Toushiro took the papers from his lap and placed them on the dresser beside them. Swiftly, before the taller could protest, he pinned him down into a wanting kiss.

"Tou-" the hazel eyes male tried to say. "You- can't-"

"Shut your master's degree-given ass up. I'm been in this bed two weeks and done nothing but paperwork and sleep. Soon, I'm going to have to go back to work, and that means my 24 hour stay will come to an abrupt end. If I go back there without relieving some stress, someone will die and I don't think you want that on your concience."

"...Well, if it spares some lives, I suppose I can let you risk it."

"That's the most sense you've since I met you."

"In this lifetime or-" Ichigo didn't get to finish, as Toushiro's lips were planted on his once more.

"Less talking, more touching."

"Yes, sir."

Toushiro did he best not to give Ichigo the impression those oval glasses were in the way, in case the taller tried to remove them, but if he was getting this right, Ichigo needed them to see up close anyway, so hopefully that wouldn't be an issue.

It was around then the captain realized he totally had a fetish.

He mentally shrugged it off, concentrating on the here and now- the lust-darkened hazel eyes below him. Despite the fact that (as far as he knew, anway) Ichigo didn't spend a lot of time in the sun or working out, his skin was just as tanned and smooth and... muscular as Toushiro remembered. And his hands. A bit caloused, yes, but he touch always had a sensual charm. Not that the captain had ever told him that.

Logic faded away with each one of those wonderful touches, bruising kisses, and needy moans, until it was gone completely.

**IRH**

**IRH**

Rukia noticed Ichigo's good mood the second she walked in. He had come in from the kitchen, snarky smile in place, drying a plate. "Hey, Kenichi, isn't that show you like on?" she asked the boy.

"Oh yeah! Thanks!" he replied, and ran off to the living room.

The woman followed the grinning orange haired male back into the kitchen. "Ok, you're preforming manual labor, I know something happened."

"I can perform more than manual labor, you know."

"Aaaannnd there's the bad puns. You got some. Is Toushiro still alive?"

"He's taking a nice little nap. Has been for the past hour."

"There aren't words for how proud of yourself you are, are there?"

"Nope. And the way I see it, you already got to play with him, so it's only fair."

"I didn't say a word about that; but it's really mean to let me go without for two weeks then have all the fun yourselves."

"Is that so? Toushiro told on you, ya know. It's not nice to trick people, either," Ichigo told her, putting down the washcloth and laying his hands on either side of her on the counter. "Besides, you seem to forget how quickly I recharge."

"That stamina is the only good thing about you," Rukia muttered with a flush.

"Oh, I think I have other good points."

"Your tongue's pretty good too," she admitted.

"Really, now?" he asked, moving closer to her.

"Don't let it go to your head," she warned with an arched eyebrow.

"Not even this one?" he asked, grinding against her.

Rukia inhaled sharply. "Oh-ok, that one is ok."

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Kenichi?" He didn't turn around.

"When's dinner?"

"You're hungry already?" Rukia exclaimed, pushing her lover aside. "You had popcorn and candy at the theater!"

He shrugged. "I'm a growing boy."

"About an hour, Kenichi, go on back to your show, ok?"

"K, Dad!" He turned on his heel and walked back out.

"Do kids have a sensor that tells them when their parents are about to get lucky?" Ichigo muttered in an annoyed tone.

"Probably. We shouldn't be doing this while he's here anyway. When's he getting picked up?"

"She said five, so probably closer to seven."

"Sounds right. Make dinner and I'll give ya dessert later," she winked, giving him a sound smack on his behind.

"Toushiro will be recovered by then too," he reminded her.

"I'm counting on it," she grinned.

**IRH**

**IRH**

Toushiro woke to a pair of soft, moist lips on his neck. "You committed murder on my libido already, Kurosaki," he muttered.

"Aww, I'm sorry to hear that."

Teal eyes snapped open. "Rukia."

"Yeah, but if you're not in the mood..."

"Change of plans," he grinned cheekily, grabbing her arm and pulling her back on to the bed with him.

"I thought Ichigo committed murder on your libido," she protested weakly.

"I just don't want to spoil the idiot."

"Tough shit," said another voice with glee, and the male felt a nip on his shoulder. "Dammit," he cussed.

"Sick of me already?" Ichigo asked. "I'm hurt."

"So's my ass," the shorter snapped back.

"Then we'll just double-team Rukia. Problem solved."

"Mmm," the woman hummed happily in antipation. "I'm game."

"I don't doubt it," Toushiro drawled.

"Then why isn't anyone mauling me?"

Toushiro pulled her closer to him, right into a delicious kiss. She turned on her knees, back facing Ichigo. His hands went under her clothes, unfastening and pulling off all articles. He pulled her lower half over, grinding himself against her warm body. She moaned into Toushiro's mouth when she felt the taller's fingers delved into her hot entrance.

"Whoa, you're slippery already. Check this out, 'Shiro."

Rukia let out a small sound of protest when Ichigo's fingers left her, but her content hums returned when the captain's fingers found her. "Shit, Kurosaki, you're right. Perhaps we've been neglecting you."

"Never too late to make up for it," the woman informed him. In response, Toushiro kicked off the blankets, allowing all to see how aroused he was. "Mmm, yummy," she said, then swallowed the pulsing member whole. The white haired male's breathing hitched, hands dropping instinctively to grasp the sheets. Ichigo took the opportunity to sheathe his own shaft in her waiting entrance. Rukia moaned in pleasure, the vibrations of her voice adding to the warmth surrounding Toushiro. He bit his lip, bucking his hips.

"Dammit," Toushiro cussed. "I'm-" Rukia backed off a little, letting his warm semen flow down her throat. Ichigo started pounding her harder, now that the choking risk was catching his breath.

"Oh, ohhh," Rukia cried. "I'm so, so-" With a loud cry, she orgasmed as well, but the taller male didn't let up. "I-Ichi- do-d-" she tried to say, but as he pushed himself inside her again, she could feel him fill her with warmth. "YOU IDIOT!" she yelled, kicking him off the bed. "I told you I was out of pills!"

"Dammit, Midget, THAT HURT!"

"NOT HALF AS MUCH AS THIS IS GONNA!"

"Would you being pregnant really be so bad?" Toushiro asked, still laying lazily on the bed.

"We barely have time for a part time child, let alone a full time one," the woman explained.

"Babysitter, nanny, housekeeper..."

"That wouldn't be fair to the child."

"Well, it's too late now," Ichigo said, Rukia still glaring daggers at him. "If it happens, we'll just have to deal with it then. Now I have a question for you," he said to the other male.

"What now?" the shorter asked with rolling eyes.

"What can you do about a transfer to our fine city?"

"Ooo, yeah!" Rukia chimed in.

Toushiro slumped back. Ichigo had successfully destracted Rukia, and this was an arguement he would never win; he never won this two against one bullshit. But looking at their excited, hopeful faces, he realised he didn't want to. "Fine," he said at last. "I'll put in a request in the morning."


End file.
